The dream is always the same. My child opens her lunchbox. A wide smile graces her face as she opens her tupperware containers. Her fruit is cut into interesting shapes. She is impressed by the healthy, colorful foods and feels no need to trade any item or even purchase chips or ice cream as additions. I have done it! I have packed a healthy lunch that my child gladly eats.

In reality, my child often came home with the contents (at least the healthier parts) of her lunch still intact and untouched. A battle about after school snack choices often ensued and dinner was not much easier. I can vividly recall being an anxious parent at mealtimes and hoping that my child would not have a meltdown at the dinner table.

As a parent of young adults, I have experienced the many stages of feeding a child. I have learned that this process is more of a journey than a destination. It’s not easy! Along the way, parents and caregivers need support and resources. So how do we encourage our picky eaters and support healthy eating habits?

I recently talked with an expert and learned a LOT about how a parent can navigate picky eating. Amy Thompson Martin is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist who specializes in feeding and eating. Amy works with children from infants to adolescents. In the realm of picky eating, Amy works with families to identify the root causes of this concern. According to Amy, “Once we understand the causes (of picky eating), we can improve nutrition and create positive experiences with mealtime(s).”

There are many possible causes of picky eating that Amy considers when evaluating a child. These may include food allergies, sensory processing issues, developmental delays, or even ARFID (Avoidant/ Restrictive Food Intake Disorder).

Depending on the root cause, Amy will work with the family to develop a plan. Often, the plan will include these “foundational pieces” that Amy shared with me..

• Engage your child in picking out and interacting with food such as a family trip to the local farmer’s market.
• Have your child help in the kitchen and expose them to cooking and handling food.
• Allow your child to come to the meal table hungry. This means less snacking or “grazing” prior to mealtimes.
• Always have at least 1 item on the plate that the child likes and will eat.
• Offer additional “new” foods on the plate.
• Try to have some meals where the family eats together. This can even be a Saturday morning breakfast!
• Model trying new foods as a family during mealtimes.
• Try to let go of expectations and pressure to eat

Amy adds that parents and caregivers should not make an additional meal for a child when they refuse to eat what is served at mealtime. In general, the parent is responsible for the food that is served and the child is responsible for how much and what they choose to eat. Amy suggest responding with, “This is what Mommy served for dinner. We can have the mac and cheese you’re asking for later this week.” According to Amy, increasing the boundaries around mealtimes and adding these foundational pieces can often break the cycle of picky eating.

As a parent and a Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist, I know that picky eating is both developmentally appropriate and typical. But when is it helpful for a caregiver to consult with a feeding and eating specialist? According to Amy, if a parent is feeling stressed at mealtimes, consultation can be helpful. In fact, Amy informed me that “one in four children do not grow out of picky eating.” A specialist like Amy can provide support through virtual and home visits as well as online courses and parent coaching.

Personally, I do not miss the lunchbox days and younger years of picky eating. Now that my children are grown, I do miss the rare times when my family was gathered around the same table to share a meal. For many families, these times are hard to come by. But, they can be instrumental in breaking the cycle of picky eating.

Contact Amy Martin @ https://littletableofgrace.com/About

Shelley Coleman is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor and Registered Play Therapist in Lakeway, Texas. In her practice, she provides play therapy, child and adolescent counseling, family therapy, and parent education. In her home, she provides parenting to her daughters (ages 19 and 22).